Unfolding

Allowing layers of myself to unfold is an interesting process that is mirrored in the mandala. Like a lotus it gently opens, bit by bit and so slowly that often I am not even aware of what is happening or how things have developed into what they are. I really could not tell you what made me who I am.

Like shapes in a mandala one thing has led to another. Different points connect to others and something forms. 

How quickly  I forget that I have been in some very dark places - the muddy bottom deep underneath the distractions of my so called 'surface life' . I have had to trust the urge to move upwards through the shadowy waters of life's expectations even though I cannot see the way clearly. Did I know where I was going? Not really.

Trust (easily said), determination, and accepting the darkness because it is part of how I have become has been my way through. 

I find that the making of mandalas represents this process of evolving so that I can understand more of myself. The dark is not so frightening - in a strange way it nourishes me.

I have had to trust the urge to move upwards even though I cannot see through the muddy waters of life's expectations.