Precious painting time

My painting time is so precious. I have to work at making that space in my busy life - I have to fight off the 'musts' and 'shoulds' and all the other family, friend, pet, garden, home maintenance and business demands. (naming just a few) So, precious painting time means so much to me.

After getting to the studio and painting for a few hours I was so disappointed. Firstly it took a lot of effort to get there and I put in a lot of energy to paint and  I do not like what I have created! I hate it.
Excited, I began with an idea, a mind picture of what I want to make. Full of enthusiasm I forgot already that ‘the mind picture’ is not going to be what I will end up with. The work and my ‘self’ go through a series of changes. Frustrating and challenging with emotional shifts from feeling connected to the mandala to feeling that I have lost it, I tried different techniques exploring mixing mediums and some new ways of applying the paint. I am attached to the original mind picture but already I can see that it is not happening. It is just not working out that way. I liked what I had before and now it is changed. It has gone and I cannot go back.

Frustrated I have to let go of that idea to progress. I know I need to go beyond it and so I decide to just do the next thing......whatever!
Now I come to a point where I can leave my mandala to rest. I think that right now this matches how I feel in my own life journey. I need to rest.

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”
Albert Einstein, The World As I See It