At times we can get locked into dualistic thinking when everything is either right or wrong, acceptable or not acceptable. We see things as black and white with no other option. Holding such tight viewpoints can be very stressful.
This meditation helps us to learn to tolerate a more realistic view where two seemingly opposite ideas on a situation can exist simultaneously with out being judged as right or wrong. It helps us to release the need to control the situation and have it all our way.
Step 1 Think about a situation of conflict where you can see only two opposingsolutions.
Strep 2 Sit quietly in a space that is 'yours'. Relax and watch your breath for about 3 minutes.
Step 3 Think about how anxious and frustrated you have felt because you wanted something or someone to be a certain way and it is not working out as you would like. Observe your emotions such as anger, hurt, disappointment or fear.
What might you loose if both points of view exist simultaneously?
Step 4 Visualize both parties being in a situation where your survival depends on both having their needs met. Imagine a creative way in which that might happen. Perhaps both can meet half way. Look for the middle road or shared ground.
Step 5 After you have found a shared 'space' or solution you can accept that each person can now have their needs met in some way. Become mindful of how you are feeling. Notice if your stress is less, if you feel more at peace.
Have you found some balance?
Allowing layers of myself to unfold is an interesting process that is mirrored in the mandala. Like a lotus it gently opens, bit by bit and so slowly that often I am not even aware of what is happening or how things have developed into what they are. I really could not tell you what made me who I am.
Like shapes in a mandala one thing has led to another. Different points connect to others and something forms.
How quickly I forget that I have been in some very dark places - the muddy bottom deep underneath the distractions of my so called 'surface life' . I have had to trust the urge to move upwards through the shadowy waters of life's expectations even though I cannot see the way clearly. Did I know where I was going? Not really.
Trust (easily said), determination, and accepting the darkness because it is part of how I have become has been my way through.
I find that the making of mandalas represents this process of evolving so that I can understand more of myself. The dark is not so frightening - in a strange way it nourishes me.
I have had to trust the urge to move upwards even though I cannot see through the muddy waters of life's expectations.
My partner and I have been together for 30 years. Being very familiar with each others ways I noticed that we were not looking into each others eyes very often. We had developed a habit of communicating without eye contact and I was feeling less close than I would like. I was missing those 'togetherness' moments - moments of intimacy that go deeper than words and moments of understanding and acceptance.
I decided to began to be aware of this and sat quietly with my partner to look at him. We laughed and smiled at one another. We connected our hearts and reaffirmed that looking deeply into another persons eyes can be a wonderful meditative experience. I am mindful of looking into his eyes often to
listen with my heart to what he is saying.
It has had a wonderful effect!
